Procedure Part 4: Juggling Act

I've tried to learn to juggle a few times.  Let me correct that, I've played with learning to juggle.  One ball is no problem.  Two are manageable.  Three become more complicated, requiring more concentration and skill than I naturally have. Taking on that fourth ball is out of the question.  I end up with a confused explosion of balls going in every direction.

I'm still working my plan and the juggling is getting complex.  I'm exercising and keeping an eagle's eye on my diet.  True couch potato cheat days are not a luxury I will allow myself at this point in my journey to a stronger, healthier me. I'm too far from my goal to feel over-confident and close enough that I can visualize not only my year end goal but my ultimate goal as well.

My piano and I are getting reacquainted again.  I've been entertaining my awakening children with the pitiful early morning pecking and plunking beginner. I really should take the pillows off their beds before I start. I've found them with heads buried under layers of pillows more than once. I've not been as consistent as I'd like and I'm not quite back up to the level I was 8 month ago.  Progress is being made and I'm content with that. More practice in juggling that piano ball is in order.

Now, it's becoming critical that I add another of my goals into the mix.  I've got genealogy research to do.  There's that 72 page book with handwritten additions and corrections that needs tending.  I need deadlines.  I find I can focus on a project when it's got to be done by a particular date instead of sometime-when-I-get-around-to-it.

I found my dad sawing an old broom handle in to little disks one day.  He was making a batch of "Round-To-Its."  He was a supervisor for his section of the factory where he worked.  He kept a few of these little Round-To-Its in his pocket to hand out.  There was no excuse for not getting a job done.  He made sure that if someone needed a Round-To-It, they got one.   I think I need one of my dad's Round-To-Its.

I've put off this particular project because I know it can be all-consuming. As I get deeper in my research with a good lead, I forget about eating or sleeping. Hours can pass unnoticed. Just one more place to look. It'll only take a few minutes and then I'll quit.  That's the logic that takes over when I get a good lead. Who knows if I'll find that thread of links and documentation again? 

Genealogy research is never done. People die, are born, get married... families don't just stay the same.  My research of last spring was obsolete within days of my printing it. It's daunting.  How am I going to juggle four balls?  My best idea is to take advantage of my previous practice.  I've been working on health and fitness goals for several weeks now.  It's becoming second nature.  I'm seeing success and I'm reasonably comfortable with my progress. I can cluster diet and exercise into one ball toss.  That leaves me with just three again, but oh, man, that third ball is going to take some concentration. I need to set aside a particular time each day or a particular day each week to complete this task.

It's time to redouble my efforts and keep promises I've made to my family.  Focus. Concentration. A goal. A deadline. Got it. Wish me luck. 

Of Walls and Bridges

I remember back home there used to be a narrow steel bridge that crossed over the Tennessee River.  One side of the bridge was sitting right at the edge of town with a stately old antebellum mansion beside its expanse. The western side was approached by a long levee. The bridge rose steeply above the river banks on either side in a steep little hill.  It was so narrow that traffic in one direction was often halted for an unusually wide vehicle to cross.  I can clearly remember crossing the bridge on the school bus.  If you were sitting toward the inside of the bridge you could see how close the bus's mirrors came to those of approaching large trucks.  If you sat on the outside edge by the window, sometimes you could look almost straight down at the river below.

Eventually it was decided that this little iron icon of our community was an impediment to traffic flow and commerce. Roadwork commenced with many hundreds of tons of rock and dirt being brought in to widen the levee that approached the bridge to the west.  There was a long stretch of river bottom flat lands there than had served as fertile pastures and fields for generations of area farmers.  This new road bed was laid beside the old so that two lanes of the new four-lane bridge could be begun beside the old bridge. The town side didn't have the land to expand the road bed so luxuriously.  The matching approach had to be accomplished in a much shorter space.

It was fascinating to watch the new bridge being built.  Great pile drivers drove supports in to the bank and the river bed.  Cement mixers lined up to add their load to the project like a column of ants on the move. Eventually great steel-reinforced concrete beams were laid across the supports.  That's when the immensity of the new bridge began to be real. Its road bed towered over the old bridge in a graceful, smooth arch.

The first time I road across the bridge from town was a breath taking experience.  There was the road rising like a wall slanting into the sky before us.  I'm sure my immature eyes made it bigger than it was but still, with the old bridge still sitting there, the climb looked immense.  But climb we did and at the top of the smooth, newly paved arch was the most spectacular view of the countryside.  You could see an uncluttered view of the great bend of the river, the islands, the farm land, and houses tucked among the trees along the bank.  Looking backward I found myself at eye level with the peak of the county seat's courthouse sitting on its prominence back in town.  That seeming wall was just a hill well worth climbing.

Now, what's gotten me thinking about walls and bridges?  Last week if felt as if I'd hit a wall in my efforts to improve myself.  Stumbling blocks I understand. They are small. You can see beyond them. You can see a way past them, the steps, a time line, a plan. It was really a couple of small things combined that built this wall for me. Perhaps my attitude was less than optimally positive as I approached the situation. In any case it was a wall that I was facing in my mind's immature eye.

Sometimes when you find a wall, you need a friend to help you see it's really just a bridge. That's what happened for me. My friend showed me the challenges weren't insurmountable.  They're just steps to something greater.  

There's a life lesson there in the consideration of walls and bridges.

Procedure Part 3: Revising the Plan

It's been a week of changing focus and priorities.  My third goal is to learn to play the piano.

Back when our daughter was a young teen, we purchased a used, upright piano.  It's a small instrument with real ivory and ebony keys. It can sing in the hands of an experienced pianist. It's 70 or 80 years old with gentle Art Deco lines I love. I love the feel of the old finish on the wood. I love the slightly warm feel of the keys. I love knowing that it had many years of life before it came to our home.  It's a piece of art as much as an instrument to me.

I was listening as a man at church described his mother's attempts to enhance his cultural education.  First, there were tap dance lessons.  Then there were accordion lessons. Finally, he took piano lessons.  For six years from age 6 to 12 he practiced 2 hours per day.  It's been many years since his last lesson but those hours are still evident.  I can imagine him playing Chopin as easily as Scott Joplin or classic rock as easily as a sweet hymn.  There's an enthusiasm as he plays that I find infectious. My fingers almost tingle with a desire to play something recognizable as I listen.

Now for my conundrum, how do I find the time to learn to play the piano?  I was taking lessons earlier this year for a few months.  My progress was slow but it was progress.  I had high hopes for being able to play a seasonal song by Christmas of this year.  Then summer hit like a tornado in a barbed wire fence.  My teacher was in the midst of selling her house and moving to a new one.  Summer camps, summer chores, summer responsibilities all squeezed my time until the meager 30 minute daily piano practice time was delayed a few hours, then a few days, then a week.  It's been 3 or 4 months now since I dared make a faltering attempt at those last exercise assignments.  I dread knowing just how much I've lost over the months with no practice.

This week, my first two goals attained an even greater importance with the news that hip replacement surgery is in my future.  Those goals must be a top priority now for the sake of health and longevity of an already damaged joint.  The weight loss is coming along at a reasonable, sustainable rate. I'm no candidate for a "Biggest Loser" contest but I consider myself a winner for the sustainable progress in diet, fitness, and weight loss that I've made.

I'm needing to toss a new goal into the mix.  I need to learn to swim. This is no longer an option for some day in the future.  Swimming is an activity that would be beneficial as a low impact exercise before and following surgery.  I can't imagine trying to learn to swim at the same time I'm trying to learn to live with a new joint.  It seems imprudent to delay learning to swim until the need is imminent. I can do this but where do I find the time?

Perhaps there's a few minutes in the morning, before the hustle of the day begins where I can caress those ivory keys, if awkwardly. It's going to take an higher degree of personal discipline than I've asked of myself to this point.

Proverbs 19:15

Slothfulness casteth into a deep sleep;

And an idle soul shall isuffer hunger.

Proverbs 23:21
For the drunkard and the glutton shall come to poverty:

And drowsiness shall clothe a man with rags. 

Benjamin Franklin

Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise.

Perhaps, even further changes are needed to ensure I have adequate rest as well as adequate waking hours in the day to reach my goals.

Procedure Part 2: Keep Moving Forward

Goal number 2 is to loose weight.  There was a time when simply cleaning up my eating habits would mean quick weight loss.  Those days are apparently gone.  My body has gotten comfortable with those extra cells hanging around and is in no to hurry to bid them adieu.

I've committed myself to a 3-4 month intensive push to loose weight. I've set a particular weight loss goal and a time frame in which to accomplish that loss. I'm working with a trainer 3 or 4 times per week.  I'm hoping to finally learn to swim around the end of that push. With hard work, I'll look less like a beached whale wrapped in colorful fabric after 20 pounds have gone. Swimming would give me a good, non-weight bearing, aerobic exercise.  It would allow me to spend time with my family in an activity they enjoy.

This process is about 8 weeks along.  I've been frustrated at times. I try to keep a positive, one-little-bit-at-a-time attitude. Sometimes I find myself repeating, "Do Your Best," the Cub Scout motto.  Other times it's "Keep Moving Forward" from the movie Meet the Robinsons.  I was thrilled this week when I pulled out a belt I hadn't worn for a few weeks and found I needed to add a hole. I drilled that extra hole through the leather belt with relish.  My trainer has been a fantastic coach. A word of encouragement here, a push to do two more reps there keeps me progressing even on those days when I approach the session with a little secret dread. I always leave each session with a better, more positive attitude.

With all that said, I've picked the absolute worst time of year to try to loose weight. I had a friend who'd tracked his weight over several years.  He found that every year in the fall he gained a few pounds regardless of diet or exercise factors.  I'd love to see research that backs that observation up and explains why it happens. It's easier to change a "what" when you understand the "why."  In any case, the holiday feast season is coming up fast.  The store aisles are already packed with holiday sweets.  Pie pumpkins are piled with the big jack-o-lantern pumpkins and colorful fall squashes.  Special displays are set aside for baking supplies.

I love to cook.  I love to explore American favorites as well as western and eastern European  foods.  I like to experiment with more exotic dishes.  I have a small collection of family favorite holiday treats. Most are laiden with sugar and rich fats that made so much more sense in a household that rose early to care for animals, spent hours chopping logs into wood for heat and a host of other heavy manual labors.  How do I go about recreating the essence of those favorites or capturing the fragrances we associate with the holidays while maintaining a more appropriate diet?  That's a challenge I'll be facing over the next few weeks.

Yep, I'm right back to Goal #1 while working on Goal #2. I can do this.

The Procedure part 1

So, now that I've laid my goals out of all to see what am I doing about it?  First, there were diet issues.  I don't mean anything like "go on a diet."  My plan is to make meaningful, long term changes to my diet as part of a healthier lifestyle. No more daily allowance of one sugary soda. No more daily dose of a random chocolate candy. A big yes to more veggies in my diet.  A big yes to more fruit in my diet.  Lean meats and fish are a go. A big yes to an occasional, high quality chocolate treat. A big yes to a cheat day if I want it on the weekend.

I've gone back to making kefir smoothies for breakfast.  Flavors are up to my imagination. Strawberry, peach, tropical fruit, blueberry, etc. I'm still making the whole grain bread for our family and I eat that. I've learned to like avocados in a salad. I'm checking out simple recipes from a raw foods cookbook.  There's a certain appeal to not standing over a hot stove or oven. I'm trying to have good cold water fish a couple of times per week.

Here's my guideline reference:
Doctrine and Covenants 89 in part...
 10 And again, verily I say unto you, all wholesome herbs God hath ordained for the constitution, nature, and use of man—

 11 Every herb in the season thereof, and every fruit in the season thereof; all these to be used with prudence and thanksgiving.

 12 Yea, flesh also of beasts and of the fowls of the air, I, the Lord, have ordained for the use of man with thanksgiving; nevertheless they are to be used sparingly;

 13 And it is pleasing unto me that they should not be used, only in times of winter, or of cold, or famine.

 14 All grain is ordained for the use of man and of beasts, to be the staff of life, not only for man but for the beasts of the field, and the fowls of heaven, and all wild animals that run or creep on the earth;

 15 And these hath God made for the use of man only in times of famine and excess of hunger.

 16 All grain is good for the food of man; as also the fruit of the vine; that which yieldeth fruit, whether in the ground or above the ground—

 17 Nevertheless, wheat for man, and corn for the ox, and oats for the horse, and rye for the fowls and for swine, and for all beasts of the field, and barley for all useful animals, and for mild drinks, as also other grain.

 18 And all saints who remember to keep and do these sayings, walking in obedience to the commandments, shall receive health in their navel and marrow to their bones;

 19 And shall find wisdom and great treasures of knowledge, even hidden treasures;

 20 And shall run and not be weary, and shall walk and not faint.

A promise of wisdom, knowledge, health and strength are hard to ignore.

Enduring Well

During a recent church service, several people spoke of the need to not just endure to the end but to endure well.  That hit home for me.  I'm at a point in my life where I need to stop just enduring what life throws at me. I need to take command of my life and endure well.  There's a huge difference between the two and it's going to require me to step out of my little cocoon of safety.

I passed the half century mark last year.  This year's birthday was celebrated with as little fanfare as I could muster.  I needed time for some self-assessment.  There's been such a tumble of activity that there's barely been time to manage my time.

I've got several goals for the next few months.  Confessing them here to any potential reader puts my resolve on the line.

1) Get back in decent physical condition. I've let myself go a bit.  No, chasing after children and their activities is NOT sufficient exercise unless your children really are running for distance.  Basic house cleaning and gardening, no matter how strenuous, do not constitute a regular fitness program.  I will argue that the regular manual turning of a 1 cubic yard compost pile has serious aerobic exercise qualities.

2) Loose some of this stubborn weight that has crept, one jiggling pound at a time, onto my body.  There's a 125 pound woman in here somewhere and she wants out. It's taken me 10+ years to go from 128 to my current weight and those pounds have gotten comfortable living with me.  They're not going to go away easily.

3) Learn to play play the piano, if only a little bit.  Yes, I have imaginings of myself sitting down and playing anything from Mozart to Joplin. That will come with practice.  I mostly want to learn to play something that I can pour the feelings of my soul into.

4) Genealogy research: the never ending exercise in puzzle solving.  I've started a family tree, almost a book, for one branch of my family.  It was supposed to be a simple tree of my great-grandmother's descendants but it grew.  I don't think it deserves to be called a book because it doesn't have the narrative I'd like to see in a family history book.  At 72 pages, it's a bit more than a simple descendants chart.

5) Fiber arts: Honestly, if I could spend my days doing genealogy research or practicing some sort of fiber art, I don't think #2 would be a problem.  I forget to eat when I'm engaged in these to activities. Sometimes sleep is entirely optional as well.  I need to find balance between these activities and the dreary everyday necessities.  I want to continue to expand and improve my knitting skills.  I want to learn to spin yard well enough to actually want to use it. People have been doing this for thousands of years with tools no  more complicated than a pointed stick.  I'm at least as smart as they, even if I'm handicapped by waiting until I'm at least 45 years older than most third world beginners are.

6) Find some sort of balance between everyday life and the need for spiritual growth. Not everyone finds church and religion important. For me, it's a grounding factor.  I need to take time to not just read the scriptures but to study them in a way that's meaningful.

Wow, that sounds even more daunting now that I've actually written that all out.  It wouldn't be so bad if there was just me to consider.  I'm a wife and mother first.  I'm my children's teacher. I'm involved in a leadership roll in three community organizations. I'm a volunteer with two others.  There are expectations and responsibilities that come with those.  It poses a challenge for me in achieving my ultimate goal of enduring well.